David Archuleta has opened up about being queer and leaving the Mormon Church, which he used to be a devout member of. In an interview with People, the 2008 “American Idol” finalist revealed that after coming out of the closet in June 2021, he struggled with a “faith crisis” that “pretty much rocked my world.”
The 31-year-old revealed that a near-breakdown in front of his ex-fiancee prompted him to call off his engagement and join the LGBTQ community.
“I was having anxiety attacks when I was around her because you’re trying to force intimacy with someone that you’re not able to experience,” Archuleta told the outlet, adding that at the time, he did not want to accept the fact that he was into men.
Having been raised in the Mormon Church, Archuleta said the church’s doctrine had taken a toll on him because he knew his sexuality was not aligned with his beliefs. He tried to be intimate with women and even got engaged thrice, but he always felt something was off, the singer revealed.
“No matter how hard I tried to marry a girl, it wasn’t right. And if you talk to my exes, they’ll tell you it was rough,” he said. “I’m sure people who’ve been in that situation can relate. People who are queer, who’ve tried to get married just to do the ‘right’ thing, it ends up not being a very good thing. And it’s not very healthy for either participant of the relationship.”
Archuleta said it was after doing some soul-searching and conversing with God that he was able to accept his true identity. He spoke to church leaders about views on LGBTQ in Mormonism but the conversations didn’t go anywhere, he revealed adding that he now describes his relationship with the church as “very complicated,” but is grateful for his family’s support of the decision.
“For my own mental health, I can’t keep putting myself in a place where it’s so conflicting where they say, ‘We love you so much, but at the same time, you must change who you are. Oh, you can’t?’ Then we’re going to ignore this problem,” Archuleta explained.
“I just had to take a step away, take a break from religion—because, for my own sanity, I did not want to weigh out whether it was better for me to live and exist, or if it was better for me not to exist. It hurts me because my religion was everything for me, but you get to a point where you realize there are some things not right there,” he added.
Archuleta revealed that since stepping back from the church, he has been able to embrace who he really is. He also revealed he kissed a man for the first time last year after coming out as queer, and it felt effortless.
“I was like, ‘Oh, so this is what it feels to like someone,'” he said.
Phil McCarten / Reuters
