As the festive glow spreads over the world, it casts a different light on those with invisible trauma scars. The forced cheer and pressure to conform to idealized family gatherings can become sharp triggers for those struggling with past wounds. Dr. Jamie Marich, a distinguished clinical trauma specialist, sheds light on the struggles faced by trauma survivors during this time, emphasizing societal expectations and family dynamics.
In our hyperconnected world, social media paints a picture-perfect holiday with elaborate decorations, family portraits and curated moments of joy.
“This pressure to conform to an unrealistic picture of holiday joy can be incredibly triggering for those struggling with past trauma,” says Dr. Marich. “It can invalidate their experiences and make them feel like they’re failing to live up to some impossible standard.” This pressure can lead to increased anxiety or depression and might even trigger a flashback.
For many, holidays mean family gatherings. But for trauma survivors, these gatherings can be tense, especially if family dynamics are part of the traumatic experience. Memories of past conflicts, unresolved issues and the presence of individuals associated with the trauma can cast a shadow on the occasion.
Dr. Marich emphasizes the importance of prioritizing inner peace and practicing acceptance in navigating familial dynamics.
“Acceptance is not about condoning others’ actions,” she explains. “It’s more about releasing yourself from anger and resentment, creating space for healing and moving forward.”
Holidays vary for everyone, especially for trauma survivors. Dr. Marich says you should know yourself and your needs.
“This might mean setting boundaries, saying no to overwhelming gatherings, creating an escape plan for unexpected triggers, or prioritizing rest,” she advises. “Remember, self-care is not selfish. It’s essential for well-being and resilience.”
Positive statements, mindfulness practices and symbolic gestures of self-care can be powerful tools in reclaiming your holiday experience.
For individuals struggling with trauma-related addictions or eating disorders, the holiday season presents unique challenges. The abundance of alcohol, food, focus on weight and body image and pressure to conform can be triggering. Dr. Marich encourages open communication about these challenges and creating affirming spaces for expressing discomfort and needs.
“Respecting boundaries, avoiding body-shaming comments and focusing on genuine connection rather than physical appearances are important steps toward creating a more inclusive and supportive holiday experience,” she says. “If someone says no, whether it be to an item of food, a drink, or going to an event, don’t force it.”
Dr. Marich stresses on proactive communication. Talking to loved ones openly about triggers and anxieties, setting clear boundaries and expressing needs can create a more understanding and safer environment.
“Remember, you are not alone in this. Sharing experiences with trusted individuals can alleviate feelings of isolation and allow others to offer support, especially if your family is not supportive of your boundaries,” Marich says. This communication can set realistic expectations and prevent unnecessary conflict or distress.
Dr. Marich has walked her own path to healing and encourages others to do the same. Her experience with different therapies, like expressive arts and mindfulness, shows her belief in healing the “whole person,” not just the mind. “Healing is not a linear process,” she says. It requires exploring different avenues and finding what works best for you.
By founding the Institute for Creative Mindfulness and offering trauma recovery, training and retreats, Dr. Marich helps people to explore all pathways to healing. Her extensive experience in trauma interventions like EMDR therapy, expressive arts, mindfulness and yoga has led her to develop innovative healing approaches like “dancing mindfulness.” She has trained thousands of therapists and facilitators, written several books on trauma recovery and received recognition for her groundbreaking work.
This holiday season, let us move beyond the hallmark veneer and embrace the complexities of the human experience. By prioritizing self-care, practicing open communication and fostering understanding, we can create a more inclusive, safer and supportive environment for everyone, especially those carrying the invisible scars of trauma. This season is not about conforming to idealized images, but about finding oneself.
